Lyrics

Drop out, drop out, coulda went to college
I made so many damn mistakes, I don't wanna think about it
I burn my hand on the stove and then I touch again
How many do I let fuck me over till I don't got no friends

Being broken hearteds where I found my muse
Do I love love or do I love abuse
I wanna confidently say that I don't wanna be depressed
But I stay away from what could fix my mess

Saying therapy could never work for me
And both my parents addicts so I'm scared of meds
There's something comforting about the thought of death
But the fear lives in what comes next

Don't let me lose control
Of the way, that things should go
I'm so, so far from myself
I beat myself up so much, baby

I'm living in hell
I'm so, so far from myself
Oh, I'm living in hell
Hell is a place that I live in

My demons, they lurk in the shadows
At war with these thoughts in my head again
I'm constantly fighting these battles
So desperately craving attention

I'm needing a friend to reach out
I'm codependent, got issues
Depressed and I'm looking for help
I'm losing my sanity, searching for clarity

Lack serotonin, my life is embarrassing
Hope is a rarity, life isn't fair to me
Losing myself and I'm honestly scared of it
I hate the person that I've become

Why do I push away people I trust
I feel ashamed, though I'm to blame
Sometimes I just wanna feel loved
Don't let me lose control

Of the way, these things should go
I'm so, so far from myself
I beat myself up so much, baby
I'm living in hell

I'm so, so far from myself
Oh, I'm living in hell
I'm so, so far from myself
So far from, so far from

I'm so, so far from myself
Oh, I'm living in hell